If we could have lawmakers and the market rework how benefits are typically provided to private and government employees, perhaps the fighting over same-sex marriage could largely go away.
Wouldn?t that be nice? Then states could focus more on other issues, such as balancing budgets, funding schools, feeding people, getting everyone health care when they need it and making sure they have it when they don?t and so on. You know, other things society disagrees on.
Same-sex relationships exist. Parents already have to navigate conversations about Johnny?s two dads and why two women live together next door or why two men are holding hands at the market. The conversations can be just as awkward as explaining why Macy doesn?t live with both her parents anymore, and why Macy and her mom are no longer free for play dates because her mom has to work more now that her dad has left. And parents are grappling with decisions about sleepovers between their high school daughter and their daughter?s lesbian friend.
The conversations and quandaries are new in many cases, which often make them difficult. Or this makes them opportunities. A lot of Web searches are happening in which parents are seeking advice on what to say and how to explain certain relationships according to one?s beliefs. (And parents need to be careful on what Internet search words they use. For example, ?sleepover,? ?lesbian? and ?daughter? together is not a good choice.)
Letting two people of the same sex legally marry won?t, in itself, increase the number of awkward moments parents get to have, and banning same-sex couples from marrying isn?t going to make those hard conversations and the sleepover decisions go away. The state doesn?t back up parental or biblical guidance in many cases. For some people, legalizing same-sex marriage will fall in that camp. For others, it could help them teach what they are already teaching their children.
Washington state is about to join six other states (not Oregon) and the District of Columbia in recognizing same-sex marriage. Governor Christine Gregoire, a Democrat in her final year of office, already endorsed the measure last month. She is expected to sign the legislation just before Valentine?s Day.
The law won?t go into effect until June, however, and opponents of same-sex marriage are promising to overturn the legislation with either a referendum repealing the legislation or an initiative defining marriage as between one man and one woman. Heather?s two mommies need not apply.
A referendum would need 241,153 signatures of registered voters by July 6 to secure a place on Washington?s November ballot. The initiative would only need half the number of signatures by June 6. If opponents go the initiative route, it isn?t clear whether gay weddings performed in the interim would be nixed if the initiative restricting marriage to male-female unions were to pass in November.
In California on Tuesday, a federal appeals court declared a voter-passed ban on same-sex marriages in California to be unconstitutional. Washington state voters and same-sex marriage opponents might want to read the writing on the wall. It is only a matter of time before government marriage means something different than it has. People are still free to encourage the biblical view or another religious view of marriage and make sure kids know the government does not use the same playbook they do or subscribe to the same source of knowledge. I assume it?s much like when divorce became commonplace; parents had a lot of navigating to do.
Legal experts are advising that California?s ruling could pave the way for a successful court challenge in Washington state should voters there overturn a gay marriage statute.
Washingtonians and outsider opponents should save the money and the bitter, ugly fight that is sure to accompany a ballot measure. It could spare children from possibly seeing behavior we want them to steer clear of. And we all need to brainstorm ways that companies and government employers could extend benefits, if they already do extend benefits to family members, in a way that ensures children are cared for.
If we successfully figured that out, there?d only be ?a message? to fight about. That?d be much easier. The world often doesn?t speak the same language that the Bible or we do.
Elizabeth Hovde writes Sunday columns for The Oregonian. Reach her at ehovde@earthlink.net.
Article source: http://www.oregonlive.com/hovde/index.ssf/2012/02/same-sex_marriage_gay_and_lesb.html
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